Tips For Setting the Mood: In my youth, my former partner and I made a habit of playing loud music almost every time we decided to have sex. This is because each of had lots of roommates and thin walls. It probably clued them off what we were doing because our classic choice was the album ‘Kid A’ by Radiohead. I might be dating myself, but this was a time before internet radio and mp3 players were really a thing so if it was a particularly good night for us, they’d have to listen to the entire record twice. Then two things happened and about the same time. The first is my partner was gifted an IPod Shuffle and also, we were afraid of getting some odd Pavlovian response to the song ‘How to Disappear Completely’. So, we spent approximately 97 hours putting our carefully crafted cd collection onto their dinosaur computer and selecting the overwhelming amount of songs we could fit on the little 1G wonder. After we finished, it seemed only natural we’d play music from this technological wonder. Things started well, with the type of shoegazing angst style music providing the soundtrack to that period of my life. But you may have spotted the problem that was about to come up when I described the piece of equipment providing our musical stylings. It was a Shuffle. All it did… was shuffle. And that was how I found myself engaging in oral intercourse during a key moment to the majestic theme song for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Heroes in a half shell, turtle power. In that vein, I’ve got some tips to help avoid some common mistakes, most of which I have made:
Tidy up: It just feels nice to prepare a space for something special. Pick up any rogue underpants (Rogue Underpants, band name, called it.) And I can think of worse motivations for doing a little laundry.
Charge/change batteries in sex toys: A literal buzzkill if you don’t.
Clean up: I am referring to your genitals. Wash them.
Set the mood: Dim the lights. Light some candles away from where they can be knocked over and start a fire. If you’re afraid of fire go get some of those fake candles and hit the room with some essential oil spritz.
Get hydrated: It’ll help you feel good. Your urine should not be the same color as a Ticonderoga pencil.
Organize your sexy stuff: Condoms? Check the expiration date and have them out ahead of time. Lube? Rinse the fuzz off the bottle and have it available. Grab a bottle of water and maybe a granola bar. Make sure the sex towel is within reach so you don’t wind up using a pair of dirty shorts.
Make a playlist: Make one that seems way too long and isn’t jarring. Take everyone’s musical tastes into consideration. Learn from my mistakes.
Get into a sensual mood: Put on some lingerie. Get the butt plug in early. Do a little naughty texting, maybe.
Have the safer sex/boundaries/kink limits talk BEFORE you get close to sex: I don’t know about you but naked people are distracting for me. Having these conversations outside of a sexual moment makes them easier and clearer.
Get into your confidence stance, you’re a rock star: Might I recommend doing the “Superman” pose for about 2 or 3 minutes? Acting confident helps you feel confident and good about yourself.
The Often-Overlooked Wand Back in the day, your option for a good vibrator was limited. To one side was a cheap, pointed plastic tube you’d pop a couple of D sized batteries into (which ALWAYS rattled loudly after a bit). It just screamed THIS IS A VIBRATOR Y’ALL. The plastic tube was the ultimate first vibrator for many of us. It went through batteries like I go through a bag of potato chips and was purely utilitarian. My fondest memories of my first vibrator mostly involved hiding it from parents and roommates. Read more
Buy It Once Products That Last A Lifetime: Introducing our As You Like It: Buy It Once Certification. These are toys that, with ordinary care and use, will last a lifetime. Toys that can safely last for your lifetime are beneficial to your sexuality, will save money over time, and promote a more eco-conscious way of shopping. No motorized toys will make the list, because after a certain period of use even the best made motorized toy can break. So, enjoy this (non-exhaustive) list of toys and companies we believe will serve you well as long as you want to use them. Read more
Engage Your Lover with an Intimate Gift, Part 2 “Happiness is what sex is all about. Sex toys enhance one of the most playful and liberating parts of adult lives. For many women, a good vibrator can mean the difference between having orgasms and just wondering about them.” Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide,” Rachel Venning & Claire Cavanah. Read more
Engage Your Lover Intimate Gift Guide, Part 1 “Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.” Rumi For those who celebrate gift-giving this time of year, you have an easy opportunity to deepen intimacy with a partner—or yourself, using sensual and erotic gifts as a springboard. Read more
“Erectile Dysfunction” (“ED”) is the common term for describing a man’s inability to achieve and/or retain an erection and sometimes is paired with lowered libido. That said most men over 50 experience a decline in erectile function, which is an entirely normal attribute of the aging process and the decline of testosterone. Unfortunately, our culture has convinced men that they are lacking if not equipped with a firm erection on demand and Big pharma would have us believe that a softer, less predictable erection is something that couples need to fix with drugs such as Viagra. Read more
Welcome to the third installment of our series on our favorite body safe and environmentally friendly toy materials. Today we’re talking about silicone. Read more
[Shown: The Delight by Fun Factory, designed to be a fantastic G-spot toy!]Where is the G-Spot? The G-Spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot for German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg who in 1944 claimed to have discovered it, is an erogenous zone located within the vagina. When stimulated, the G-Spot is said to produce high levels of sexual arousal and mind-blowing, even ejaculatory, orgasms. Read more
Welcome to the second installment of our series on our favorite body safe and environmentally friendly toy materials. Today we’re talking about glass. Read more
Here at As You Like It all of our toys are both body safe and environmentally friendly. Over the next couple of weeks we’ll be taking a look, one at a time, at some of our favorite toy materials. We’re going to kick off our toy material tour with the wonder that is wood Read more