Re-Thinking The Couples Toy

One person holds the Manta by Fun Factory out to a second person, who extends a finger to touch the tips. Behind their hands is a rainbow background and the image is accented by rainboe hearts and stars.

Customers frequently come to us looking for the elusive, perfect “couples’ toy.” The intriguing thing about this request is that the definition of couple, the bodies involved, and the desired feelings and sensations vary greatly from person to person, and even more greatly from relationship to relationship. All individuals and couples have entirely unique bodies and desires. Therefore, the category of the couple’s toy remains wide and vague.

The mainstream conceptions of what constitutes sex are still relatively narrow. But we want to remind you that sex is defined only by the people having it, and that sensations like penetration are not mandatory. Many people in relationships have anatomy that does not allow them to experience penis-in-vagina sex with their partner/s, whereas others may have physical restrictions that prevent it. Still, more people may simply not want to participate in penetration for their own personal reasons.

We are all unique people with unique bodies, desires, and relationships. Sex can be anything that you and your partner/s want it to be. And shopping for a toy together can be a great way to expand your idea of what sex can look like for you and your partner/s.

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Getting Hot or Cooling Down?

Several toys highlighted throughout this blog sit in a pattern atop a gold glittery background.

It’s getting hot out there! Like really, really hot. And as vaccination rates continue to creep up in our state as well as nationally, we know that many of you are eager for a hot, sexy summer.

And the weather seems to agree. This summer has already set records here in the Pacific Northwest for extreme heat, and the temperature shows no signs of dropping. With forecasts sticking in the 80s or above for the foreseeable future, this warm weather is something we will all have to learn to work with for the time being.

The good news is that there are plenty of ways to play with temperature, and bring both sizzling, scorching heat AND icy, tingling cold into your summer play. You can use these tips from our expert staff on how to toy with temperature any time of the year, but especially as the outside temperature continues to fluctuate.

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Sexual Health & Erotic Intelligence

Male Peacock

June is International Men’s Health Month, a month for bringing awareness and education about issues that affect men’s overall health. Our culture often keeps our eroticism and sexuality compartmentalized in small categories, disconnected from other parts of our physical, emotional, mental, and reproductive health. We are usually able to talk about the prostate and the importance of having it checked by a physician. We are often less skilled in talking about the importance of erotic pleasure in a healthy life.

I want to invite that level of awareness and attention to men’s erotic health or erotic intelligence, to bring understanding that our sexual lives are interwoven with our whole lives, and that our erotic health is part of our general health. For men, this often means having permission to access the full range of erotic possibilities available to them.

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Masturbation 101: More Than Just Pleasure

A person kneels in front of a digital collage of flowers. They have long braids and are wearing white fabric around their hips. One hand rests on their chest, the other in their lap.

Even putting the health benefits aside, masturbation can be just plain fun! And the more you practice, the better you become. But when we get to know ourselves particularly well, we can get into set routines. Once we know what works for us, we might find that we stop exploring new pleasures and instead return to “old faithful,” whatever that may look like for us.

The good news? We here at As You Like It have lots of experience in the wide world of masturbation, and we know that there are infinite ways to touch yourself. So if you’re feeling bored with your usual self-pleasure routine, we have some tips and tricks to shake up your sessions.

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25 Ways to Make Love to the Earth

Beth Stephens and Annie Sprinkle

Two of our greatest friends and influencers in our pursuit of eco-conscious pleasure are Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens, whose work defines ecosexuality as a sexual orientation for those who acknowledge the Earth itself as their lover.

So how do you cultivate and improve your relationship with the Earth? Start by getting ecosexy! Nature is, after all, constantly getting it on — you just need to tap into the Earth’s erotic energy!

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Sex And Pain: From Mitigation to Mastery

Sex and Pain

It is estimated that around 75% of people with vaginas will experience sexual pain at some point in their lives. But for as prevalent as pain during sex is, there is surprisingly few conversations being had about it. Perhaps that’s why sexual pain can feel so isolating.

If you’re experiencing painful sex, we want you to know that you’re not alone. And you deserve to experience pleasure without pain!

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Love in the Modern World

Love 24 hrs

St. Valentine’s Day is an extremely polarizing holiday.

But what if we could reframe this holiday into a pure distillate of the sentiment behind it, untarnished by marketing and branding? What if we, as a community, rejected the heart-shaped Hallmark holiday ideas and instead reclaimed St. Valentine’s Day as a celebration of love in all of its forms?

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AYLI’s 2020 Gift Guide

It’s been a long, hard year, and we could all use a little extra pleasure right now. So if you’re looking for a great gift for a friend, a partner, or even yourself, here are our best suggestions. Each item on this list is a hand-picked favorite of our staff!

You can browse according to your budget, or if you want to spoil someone really special to you, consider one of our absolute favorite spotlighted items!

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What Place Does Pleasure Have in an Emergency?

Orange flowers grow from black charred wood

If you live anywhere on the west coast, chances are you are or were close to a fire or socked in with smoke. To our nervous system, this is an emergency. Being afraid or uneasy is an appropriate response to these conditions. We are evolutionarily hardwired to engage with (fight), run away from (flee), or disassociate from (freeze) threats, and fires and smoke are most definitely threats to our survival.

However, at this very moment most likely you are somewhat OK, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be reading this. While you might know that intellectually, your body could still be on high alert. How do you tell your body that despite these dangerous conditions, you are OK?

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Enjoying Sex as We Age

While our cultural training may disagree, my experience with clients in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and yes, even 80’s, and with workshop participants (having attended over 40 workshops on Love, Intimacy and Sexuality), and with people who attend my public talks and classes, a lot of people over 50 are having passionate, connective and rich sex lives.

I can assure you that having a fulfilling sex life after 50 is entirely possible—if that is something you want.

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