Toys For Two (or Maybe More!)
Re-Thinking the Couples' Toy
by Abby Robinson
Customers frequently come to us looking for the elusive, perfect “couples’ toy.” The intriguing thing about this request is that the definition of couple, the bodies involved, and the desired feelings and sensations vary greatly from person to person, and even more greatly from relationship to relationship. All individuals and couples have entirely unique bodies and desires. Therefore, the category of the couple’s toy remains wide and vague.
The mainstream conceptions of what constitutes sex are still relatively narrow. But we want to remind you that sex is defined only by the people having it, and that sensations like penetration are not mandatory. Many people in relationships have anatomy that does not allow them to experience penis-in-vagina sex with their partner/s, whereas others may have physical restrictions that prevent it. Still, more people may simply not want to participate in penetration for their own personal reasons.
We are all unique people with unique bodies, desires, and relationships. Sex can be anything that you and your partner/s want it to be. And shopping for a toy together can be a great way to expand your idea of what sex can look like for you and your partner/s.
Luckily, we at As You Like It love helping our customers get to the bottom of what sensations work for them and their partner/s. Over the years, we have done exhaustive research to find the best couples toys for all bodies. Some of our go-to’s are designed specifically with partner-play in mind, but others are often marketed for very narrow uses, and therefore overlooked when searching for a couples toy. We aim to find the right experience for everybody and every body, which often means enthusiastically stepping outside the box of toy marketing into a world of endless fun and safe possibilities.
The Classic Go-To Gadgets
One of the most common toys for any and all bodies is the classic wand vibrator. Incredibly powerful and shaped with a long handle and a large, broad head that delivers deep vibrations anywhere externally to the body, wands are a classic for a reason. They have such a reputation because of their strong motors and wide range of uses. Any body that is looking for any kind of external vibration may find a wand-style toy to be their best option. Best of all, many wands have attachments of several different shapes and sizes, designed for all kinds of bodies. You can get a weighted wand attachment to use internally and achieve intense p-spot and g-spot penetration, or a loop attachment to turn your wand into a powerful vibrating stroker. No matter your anatomy, if you or your partner/s likes strong vibration, wands have something to offer you.
C-rings are many couple’s first thought when seeking stimulation to add to penetrative sex. Some basic functionality first, C-rings are intended to fit around the base of the penis and restrict the exiting blood flow. This results in a harder, longer lasting erection, and oftentimes a more powerful orgasm. Many C-rings also feature a vibrating motor to increase stimulation for the receiver as well as the wearer.
Certainly these toys in their intended use will work excellent as a couple’s addition for certain bodies, but there are other creative ways to utilize them! The small yet powerful motors and stretchy loops typical of c-rings work great wrapped around the fingers for a new and exciting kind of stimulation. This finger placement offers a pleasurable experience for those with varying grip strengths, and anyone seeking a less invasive vibrator size! C-rings can also be placed on the base of penetrative toys to add vibration and external stimulation.
The Nos ring by Fun Factory is one of our new favorites in the store. The innovative ring features tapered sides that intentionally apply pressure only where it is needed. This shape is great for wearing on the shaft but also for added comfort and grip around the fingers. Additionally, Nos features a powerful rumbly motor that carries through the smooth extensions to bring pleasure to any part of the body. A ring like this is great for nipple stimulation, clitoral stimulation, massage, and more. The possibilities are limitless!
Endless Penetrative Possibilities
One common desire for a couples toy is the ability to maintain or even increase the level of physical closeness and intimacy. Some couples struggle to find this closeness when PIV (Penis in Vagina) intercourse is not desired or possible, but penetration is still a desired sensation. There are many toys and products that can accomplish this goal! Underwear style harnesses are the common solution, but this may not work for all bodies, genitals, or mobility levels.
Thigh harnesses are great for folks with penises that prefer alternative means of penetration, meeting mobility needs regardless of genitalia, and expanding positioning and penetration size/shape options while maintaining thrusting power. Thigh placement allows for close physical intimacy with the added bonus of a customizable dildo selection. There are endless positioning options to fulfill the fantasy of every couple. The Sportsheets Thigh Harness is made out of soft, velcro-adjustable neoprene and works with any flared-base attachment. Additionally, the Kooky Ultimate Thigh Harness offers a comfortable and adjustable buckle strap with an attractive leather facing. For even more customization, the Kooky harness features snap closures, allowing the user to change the O ring size to accommodate various dildo sizes.
If you and your partner/s want to experience penetration at the same time, there are several toys that can make that happen while still allowing you to be physically close. Basic double-ended dildos are a go-to for many couples, but choosing the right one can pose a challenge if you don’t both like the same shape and size of toy. For that reason, one of our favorite hacks to achieve customized simultaneous penetration is selecting toys with suction bases that can stick together. The Avant striped dildos are ideal for this, with their soft flexible silicone and strong suction cup bases. Any Avant stripe dildo will stick to any other, allowing you and your partner/s to mix and match sizes, shapes, and colors depending on individual’s preference and please everyone.
Many dildos have suction cup bases, but many more do not. So what if your favorite dil doesn’t have a suction base, but you still want to share the love? We recommend the Double Sided Suction Cup from New York Toy Collective. With this simple addition to your toy drawer, you can easily turn any flat-based dildo into a suction cup toy. Using your own favorite toys with suction cups has many benefits. From being body-neutral and accessible for both anal and vaginal penetration to encouraging the exploration of more unique positions, there are plenty of reasons to consider exploring the benefits of suction cup toys with your sweetie.
One of the best toys designed specifically for two partners who want simultaneous vaginal penetration is the Together Vibe. Many double-ended dildos are limp and formless, making positioning a real challenge for many bodies. But Together Vibe is different. Although the toy is flexible and can open to fit a wide variety of body shapes and sizes, it will also return to its original arch if given the chance. This creates a delightful, subtle sensation of pressure when in use, allowing you both to pinpoint the spot of your most intense pleasure.
And the Together Vibe does so much more than just simultaneous penetration. This multi-talented toy also features two sets of soft rabbit ears in the center of the arch. That way, both partners can have clitoral vibration, too! After all, why choose when you can have it all?
But the most exciting feature of the Together Vibe is the mirrored vibration control. When the partner using one side of the arch starts to tense and tighten around the toy, it will cause the other side to increase in vibration intensity. That way, you can feel your partner’s reactions and stay intimately connected, both mentally and physically.
Extra Versatile Vibes for Every Body
When searching for the right couple’s toy, versatility is a priority for many people. Couples want to feel assured that the investment in a high quality and durable toy will offer plentiful options for shared experience and pleasure. Vibrating strokers and similar fluttering shapes are one way to invest in a versatile and powerful toy to share.
Most of these toys are designed to either flutter against the clitoris or cup around the shaft for vibrating stroking pleasure. However, many of them can be used interchangeably or in entirely new ways. The Manta Vibrating Stroker by Fun Factory and the Volta by Fun Factory are two fantastic options.
The Manta features ribbed texture to hold lubricant and offer pleasurable friction to the body. The Volta’s fluttering wings, and deep rumbling motor offer a tickling pleasure to any part of the body. Toys like this with a dual wing shape also make great oral sex accessories. The sides of the wings can be worn on the bottom of the jaw to carry vibration through the mouth and tongue during oral sex on any genitals! Furthermore, both toys feature an ergonomic and comfortable loop handle for easy grip and movement.
Many couples come to us to discuss erectile function as a potential obstacle to their desired intimacy. Although we do have some suggestions to assist couples in working through and potentially increasing overall erectile functionality, we also love to remind people that an erection is absolutely not necessary to have a fun sexual experience together. In fact, there are plenty of ways to experience pleasure together that do not involve an erection!
The Pulse Duo by Hot Octopuss is an award-winning toy designed to subvert this concern entirely with several amazing features. The firm yet flexible shape of the Pulse is designed to comfortably grip the penis, whether erect or not. The unique oscillating plate technology is perfectly positioned to stimulate the most sensitive part of the penis, the frenulum, providing maximum pleasure while stroking is entirely optional.
There are several different Pulse toys to choose from, but the Duo model is specifically designed to please two or more at once. Entirely wrapped in velvety silicone and featuring two motors, the Pulse Duo offers independently controlled vibration along the underside of the toy as well. This allows the wearer to share the intense sensations with another person!
Perfectly positioned for sharing the sensations while grinding, partners can enjoy physical closeness and customized pleasurable sensations, all without concern for erection level or penetration. There are many position options and ways to utilize this unique toy to achieve the desired partnered experience. Explore and find out what works best for your bodies!
One of the most versatile couples toys on the market today is the Chorus by We-Vibe. Although this one is actually marketed as a couples toy, and is designed to be worn during vaginal sex to give hands-free clitoral and g-spot vibration, that is only one of the potential uses for this unique vibe.
A flexible c-shaped vibrator with two adjustment points, two motors, and a squeeze-remote, Chorus can be placed anywhere you could use a little extra vibes. Holding it in your hand gives your touch some extra oomph, and allows you to explore all of your partner’s lesser-known erogenous zones. Adjust the curve as desired to perfectly cradle any sensitive anatomy, from breasts to nipples to testicles. Or, take your oral sex up a notch by placing Chorus under the giver’s chin before they go down, creating a unique vibrating jaw sensation. Chorus can also be worn during strap-on play to give the harness wearer some incredible vibing and grinding sensations.
Chorus has so many uses that you’re really only limited by your imagination. And with the app capability allowing your partner/s to control your toy from anywhere, Chorus is a seriously multi-talented toy that has something to offer for all.
Some Final Thoughts on Sharing the Love
If you’re considering adding one of these toys (or any other toy!) to your relationship, we strongly recommend discussing it with your partner/s first. Nothing is worse than spending your hard-earned money on something, and having your sweetie be turned off by it. Have a chat about what your goals are in getting a toy together. Decide what you would like that toy to achieve for you both. If you’re comfortable making a trip to our storefront, it can be both fun and informative to browse your options together (and ask questions of our highly trained staff). If you prefer privacy, you can always browse our online shop and see what strikes a shared interest.
It’s important to remain open minded as you search for the right toy for you. Some people may have preconceptions about what the use of a toy means, or what it can do to their relationship. Some may believe that toys are mostly used as an attempt to rekindle struggling relationships, or that couples who use toys are in some way weird or abnormal. Others might fear being “replaced” by a toy, or becoming dependent on the toy to receive pleasure. Many people are battling shame that they have been taught surrounding the expression of their sexual selves. But toys are not replacements for partners, nor can they permanently change your body or its ability to feel pleasure. Toys aren’t shameful, abnormal, or weird; they are simply tools to enhance your shared experience!
It’s also very important to remember that these items are called toys for a reason: they are meant to be fun. They are intended for play. Bringing a toy into your bedroom can be a great way to explore new and exciting ways to have fun with your partner/s. It doesn’t have to be a serious undertaking. Sex is fun! Adding a toy just changes the way you play.
We’ve highlighted some of our favorites, but the possibilities for couples’ play is theoretically limitless. Any toy can be a couples toy if you use it with your partner/s. You are limited only by your imagination — and your sense of adventure!