Healing Painful Sex

Boundaries are the ways we communicate our needs.

They are what allow us to feel safe among strangers, in everyday interactions, and in our closest relationships. When we have healthy boundaries, we have a strong foundation in an uncertain world. And when someone crosses your boundaries, or you cross someone else’s, the results range from unsettling to catastrophic.

In this book, bestselling author Dr. Faith Harper offers a full understanding of issues of boundaries and consent, how we can communicate and listen more effectively, and how to survive and move on from situations where our boundaries are violated. Along the way, you’ll learn when and how to effectively say “no” (and “yes”), troubleshoot conflict, recognize abuse, and respect your own and others’ boundaries like a pro.

This began as a zine, then was heavily edited to become a chapter in Unf*ck Your Intimacy. Then, it evolved into this book! And later, the workbook version emerged as well.

Fumbling Toward Repair is a workbook by Mariame Kaba and Shira Hassan that includes reflection questions, skill assessments, facilitation tips, helpful definitions, activities, and hard-learned lessons intended to support people who have taken on the coordination and facilitation of formal community accountability processes to address interpersonal harm & violence.

Not for beginners! This workbook is intended for people with experience in community accountability work, whether as formal or informal facilitators, mediators, and survivors’ support people. It’s the book the creators wish they’d had when they were first starting out.

The exercises focus on self-accountability, assessing and growing your own skills, deciding whether or not to get involved, troubleshooting common problems, and improving your grasp of the technical nuts and bolts of accountability. Includes exercises to do on your own, with survivors, with perpetrators, and with your team.

Packed full of stories, perspectives from many people and situations, example documents, and more. This resource is deeply thoughtful, practical, and full of heart for the people who find their calling is to try to help mend the most broken relationships.