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We were not prepared for #metoo when it blew up Twitter in October 2017. In many ways, we still aren’t. What do we do when we learn a friend has been harmed? And what does it mean to be a good friend when someone we love caused the harm?
We live in a society that confines survivors to silence. Our only avenues to address harm do little to prevent its recurrence. Trapped within a binary of silence or punishment, it’s no wonder so many of us remain paralyzed even as the disclosures continue. Punishment requires both certainty and authority, which most bystanders lack. But once the silence has been broken, we can’t return to it. Few of us are strangers to the nagging feeling that arises within that paralysis. We intuit—correctly—that we have some kind of responsibility when harm happens in our communities, but what is it? And if we have responsibility, do we have rights?
Combining behavioral neuroscience and insights from those on the frontlines of harm intervention, Disrupting the Bystander helps us break out of paralysis so that we can best support those we love—whether they were hurt or hurt someone else.
Paperback. 225 Pages.
“An essential handbook for supporting those who have been harmed, while also caring for yourself. If you’ve ever felt helpless in the face of someone else’s discomfort or pain, this book will teach you how to show up and stand up.” —Laszlo Bock, CEO of Humu and author of Work Rules! Insights from Inside Google to Transform How You Live and Lead
“A must-read for anyone interested in repairing harm in their communities. Using a combination of personal narrative and research, A.V. Flox provides a map for helping others to heal while continuing to hold abusive individuals accountable. We all know people who people who have been harmed and people who have harmed. This is why everyone should read this book.” —Kelly Sundberg, author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival
“I’m both thrilled and relieved that A.V. Flox’s important work is now unleashed upon the world. Our communities need better guidelines for reducing harm, ones that are informed by neuroscience and the mechanics of trauma, and I can’t think of a more meticulous and conscientious author to handle the task.” —Arden Leigh, creator of The Re-Patterning Project and frontwoman of Arden and the Wolves
A.V. Flox is a journalist who has written for the LA Times, Village Voice, LA Weekly, VICE, and Gizmodo.
Shawna Potter, lead singer of War On Women, has been a musician for over twenty years—and has been sexually harassed, discriminated against, or made to feel unsafe for just as long. Recently, she’s been training venues of all kinds to be safer spaces for people who experience harassment.
This pamphlet is her DIY guide for any music, art, or community space looking to make the world a better place. It’s a detailed and radical call for our communities (not just the survivors) to take power back from harassers and abusers without involving police or other authorities.
Dedicated to trans women everywhere, this inspirational collection of letters written by successful trans women shares the lessons they learnt on their journeys to womanhood, celebrating their achievements and empowering the next generation to become who they truly are.
Written by politicians, scientists, models, athletes, authors, actors, and activists from around the world, these letters capture the diversity of the trans experience and offer advice from make-up and dating through to fighting dysphoria and transphobia.
By turns honest and heartfelt, funny and furious or beautiful and brave, these letters send a clear message of hope to their sisters: each of these women have gone through the struggles of transition and emerged the other side as accomplished, confident women; and if we made it sister, so can you!
Dr. Faith’s 5 Minute therapy is here, this time to help you UnF*ck your Consent!
Consent and boundaries are an almost universal concern for individuals. So this zine aims to explore both the history of consent and the current dialogue surrounding it, as well as offer useful tools to help create a healthy consciousness of consent in daily life.
A powerful study of the women’s liberation movement in the U.S., from abolitionist days to the present, that demonstrates how it has always been hampered by the racist and classist biases of its leaders. From the widely revered and legendary political activist and scholar Angela Davis.
Longtime activist, author and political figure Angela Davis brings us this expose of the women’s movement in the context of the fight for civil rights and working class issues. She uncovers a side of the fight for suffrage many of us have not heard: the intimate tie between the anti-slavery campaign and the struggle for women’s suffrage. She shows how the racist and classist bias of some in the women’s movement have divided its own membership.
Davis’ message is clear: If we ever want equality, we’re gonna have to fight for it together.
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability is the first complete sex guide for people who live with disabilities, pain, illness, or chronic conditions.
Useful for absolutely everyone, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation, the book addresses a wide range of disabilities — from chronic fatigue, back pain, and asthma to spinal cord injury, hearing and visual impairment, multiple sclerosis, and more. Expertly written by a medical doctor, a sex educator, and a disability activist, The Ultimate Guide provides readers with encouragement, support, and all the information they need to create a sex life that works for them.
The authors cover all aspects of sex and disability, including building a positive sexual self-image; positions to minimize stress and maximize pleasure; dealing with fatigue or pain during sex; finding partners and talking with partners about sex and disability; adapting sex toys; and more.
In this modern fairy tale, a noble prince and a brave knight come together to defeat a terrible monster and in the process find true love in a most unexpected place.
The digital illustrations are rich in color and depth. This is an illuminating fairy tale for young readers to be able to see that not every prince would like to marry a princess.
Dating used to be a thing that most people did for a while. Now it’s faded to take up a cramped and awkward space in between hooking up and instantly moving into together. If you woke up all alarmed and find yourself wanting all that old shit, letters and sodas, read this zine and get […]
We should not need to prove our experiences, defend our realities, or negotiate basic human rights. But we do.
What does sexual orientation mean if the very categories of gender are in question? How do we measure equality when our society’s definitions of “male” and “female” leave out much of the population?
There is no consensus on what a “real” man or woman is, where one’s sex begins and ends, or what purpose the categories of masculine and feminine traits serve. While significant strides have been made in recent years on behalf of women’s, gay and lesbian rights, there is still a large division between the law and day-to-day reality for LGBTQIA and female-identified individuals in American society.
How much of your sex life is informed by gender norms that you may not even be conscious of? Eli Sachse’s zine is all about learning to explore your sexuality in a healthier way, with great boundaries and consent. These concepts apply whether by yourself, with strangers, or with trusted others. This zine is a […]
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