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We were not prepared for #metoo when it blew up Twitter in October 2017. In many ways, we still aren’t. What do we do when we learn a friend has been harmed? And what does it mean to be a good friend when someone we love caused the harm?
We live in a society that confines survivors to silence. Our only avenues to address harm do little to prevent its recurrence. Trapped within a binary of silence or punishment, it’s no wonder so many of us remain paralyzed even as the disclosures continue. Punishment requires both certainty and authority, which most bystanders lack. But once the silence has been broken, we can’t return to it. Few of us are strangers to the nagging feeling that arises within that paralysis. We intuit—correctly—that we have some kind of responsibility when harm happens in our communities, but what is it? And if we have responsibility, do we have rights?
Combining behavioral neuroscience and insights from those on the frontlines of harm intervention, Disrupting the Bystander helps us break out of paralysis so that we can best support those we love—whether they were hurt or hurt someone else.
Paperback. 225 Pages.
“An essential handbook for supporting those who have been harmed, while also caring for yourself. If you’ve ever felt helpless in the face of someone else’s discomfort or pain, this book will teach you how to show up and stand up.” —Laszlo Bock, CEO of Humu and author of Work Rules! Insights from Inside Google to Transform How You Live and Lead
“A must-read for anyone interested in repairing harm in their communities. Using a combination of personal narrative and research, A.V. Flox provides a map for helping others to heal while continuing to hold abusive individuals accountable. We all know people who people who have been harmed and people who have harmed. This is why everyone should read this book.” —Kelly Sundberg, author of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival
“I’m both thrilled and relieved that A.V. Flox’s important work is now unleashed upon the world. Our communities need better guidelines for reducing harm, ones that are informed by neuroscience and the mechanics of trauma, and I can’t think of a more meticulous and conscientious author to handle the task.” —Arden Leigh, creator of The Re-Patterning Project and frontwoman of Arden and the Wolves
A.V. Flox is a journalist who has written for the LA Times, Village Voice, LA Weekly, VICE, and Gizmodo.
A dynamic celebration of trans male culture, this essential collection makes visible a decade of FTM and transmasculine experiences.
Independently published from 2009 to 2019, Original Plumbing grew from a Bay Area zine to a nationally acclaimed print quarterly dedicated to trans men. For nearly ten years, the magazine was the premier resource focused on their experiences, celebrations, and imaginations, featuring writing on both playful and political topics like selfies, bathrooms, and safer sex; interviews with queer icons such as Janet Mock, Silas Howard, and Ian Harvie; and visual art, photography, and short fiction.
In celebration of the magazine’s ten-year run, this essential collection compiles the best of all twenty issues. Selections are reprinted in full color, with an introduction by activist Tiq Milan and a new preface by the founding editors.
Others have turned to Janet W. Hardy’s ‘The Ethical Slut’, ‘The New Topping Book’ and ‘The New Bottoming Book’ – for advice on the most challenging questions of sex, polyamory, kink, and self-identity.
But Janet had to make it up as she went. How did she do it? Well, as you might expect from the co-author of ‘Sex Disasters… and How to Survive Them’, it hasn’t all been roses (or thorns for that matter).
Here, in Impervious, Janet takes you through the five twisty stages of her own kinky life – mirroring those of any good scene – negotiation, warmup, engagement, climax, and aftercare.
Delicious (and surprising) details await you inside. Bon Appétit!
How do we make social justice the most pleasurable human experience? How can we awaken within ourselves desires that make it impossible to settle for anything less than a fulfilling life?
Author and editor adrienne maree brown finds the answer in something she calls “pleasure activism,” a politics of healing and happiness that explodes the dour myth that changing the world is just another form of work.
Drawing on the black feminist tradition, she challenges us to rethink the ground rules of activism. Her mindset-altering essays are interwoven with conversations and insights from other feminist thinkers, including Audre Lorde, Joan Morgan, Cara Page, Sonya Renee Taylor, and Alexis Pauline Gumbs.
Together they cover a wide array of subjects—from sex work to climate change, from race and gender to sex and drugs—building new narratives about how politics can feel good and how what feels good always has a complex politics of its own.
How can we heal from trauma? How can we support the survivors in our lives? How can we build relationships in an ethical way? This book may not offer all the answers, but it opens up discussions and offers a good place to start.
Learning Good Consent is a collection of multiple works by multiple authors on the topic of support for survivors of trauma, collected and edited by Cindy Crabb.
Sex after Grief is the first book to address sex and grief together and treat sex as a normal, positive, life-affirming part of emerging from such a difficult time.
Joan Price, the top expert on senior sex, draws on her own experiences as a widow since 2008, when she lost the love of her life to cancer. She shares her raw grief journey, sexual reawakening (and the many stumbles along the way), and attempts to dip back into dating, along with excellent advice on handling each step.
How can you build unshakable confidence and resilience in a world still filled with ignorance, inequality, and discrimination? The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook will teach you how to challenge internalized negative messages, handle stress, build a community of support, and embrace your true self.
In this important workbook, you’ll discover how to cultivate the key components of resilience: holding a positive view of yourself and your abilities; knowing your worth and cultivating a strong sense of self-esteem; effectively utilizing resources; being assertive and creating a support community; fostering hope and growth within yourself, and finding the strength to help others.
Once you know how to tap into your personal resilience, you’ll have an unlimited well you can draw from to navigate everyday challenges.
Dedicated to trans women everywhere, this inspirational collection of letters written by successful trans women shares the lessons they learnt on their journeys to womanhood, celebrating their achievements and empowering the next generation to become who they truly are.
Written by politicians, scientists, models, athletes, authors, actors, and activists from around the world, these letters capture the diversity of the trans experience and offer advice from make-up and dating through to fighting dysphoria and transphobia.
By turns honest and heartfelt, funny and furious or beautiful and brave, these letters send a clear message of hope to their sisters: each of these women have gone through the struggles of transition and emerged the other side as accomplished, confident women; and if we made it sister, so can you!
The Remedy invites writers and readers to imagine what we need to create healthy, resilient, and thriving LGBTQ communities.
This anthology is a diverse collection of real-life stories from queer and trans people on their own health-care experiences and challenges, from gay men living with HIV who remember the systemic resistance to their health-care needs, to a lesbian couple dealing with the experience of cancer, to young trans people who struggle to find health-care providers who treat them with dignity and respect.
The book also includes essays by health-care providers, activists and leaders with something to say about the challenges, politics, and opportunities surrounding LGBTQ health issues.
Both exceptionally moving and an incendiary call-to-arms, The Remedy is a must-read for anyone—gay, straight, trans, and otherwise—passionately concerned about the right to proper health care for all.
You may be getting older but love and sex are still a vital part of your life. Here is the book that speaks to your concerns about sex beyond the middle years.
Two leading experts have completely updated and revised the classic guide on the subject to address the needs of our changing world in the new millennium. Because a vibrant and satisfying sex life has no age ceiling!
Shawna Potter, lead singer of War On Women, has been a musician for over twenty years—and has been sexually harassed, discriminated against, or made to feel unsafe for just as long. Recently, she’s been training venues of all kinds to be safer spaces for people who experience harassment.
This pamphlet is her DIY guide for any music, art, or community space looking to make the world a better place. It’s a detailed and radical call for our communities (not just the survivors) to take power back from harassers and abusers without involving police or other authorities.
How much of your sex life is informed by gender norms that you may not even be conscious of? Eli Sachse’s zine is all about learning to explore your sexuality in a healthier way, with great boundaries and consent. These concepts apply whether by yourself, with strangers, or with trusted others. This zine is a […]