By Javay da BAE, the Millennial Sexpert
Do you worry that your oral skills are a little lackluster? You’re not alone; it is very common for people to question whether they are good at oral sex or not. Just like other skills, learning new techniques and practice can help you to get better and gain more confidence. And that’s what we are here to do. So here are some quick tips to up your oral game.
Explore with Your Tongue
When it comes to oral sex, using your tongue for exploration is a great place to start. Sure, the clitoris is the pleasure center, and the tip of the penis experiences a lot of pleasure, but they aren’t the only parts of the body that you can stimulate with your mouth. Explore the entirety of the vulva, penis, or anus with your tongue. There are so many parts to each that can experience pleasure–the labia, the vein on the back of the penis shaft, and the rim of the anus. Take your time with your tongue to pay attention to all the parts of your partner. You can also use your tongue to build anticipation by licking nipples and other erogenous zones or kissing up and down their body. Using your tongue as a tool of exploration allows you to extend the entire experience, discover new pleasure points, and get closer to your partner in multiple ways.
Add Sensations
If you want to shake up oral sex, adding additional sensations is a great option. You can add sensations by adding toys to the mix or just using your body. You can add sensations by humming and moaning while performing oral. The moan creates a vibration sensation. The stronger your hums and moans, the stronger the sensation will feel for your partner. If you are lost on what to hum, you can try your favorite song, or if you and your partner have a song, you can go with that one. Don’t worry if moaning or humming feels too awkward for you; toys are a great way to add more sensation as well. You can use a bullet vibrator to add vibration sensation, an air pleasure (suction) toy for nipple stimulation, or a Wartenberg wheel for a kinkier sensation.
Communicate
There is really only one tried and true tip when it comes to mind-blowing oral sex: COMMUNICATION. You can get as many tips for oral sex as possible, but without communication, they are all moot. Communication is vital before, during, and after oral sex. Before engaging in sexual activity of any kind, but especially for oral sex, talking with your partner about what they do and don’t like is important. During oral sex, checking in helps to ensure that it is a pleasurable and positive experience. You can check in by seeing if they like the speed or intensity you are using if they need to adjust positions to be more comfortable, if it feels good–things like that. After the deed is done, you should communicate and debrief; talk about what worked well and what could be improved for next time. Debriefing afterward doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a good time or that y’all didn’t enjoy each other; it just creates space for y’all to improve and connect further continuously.
Getting better at oral sex takes time, but if you are willing and open to communicating with your partner, trying new things, and taking your time, you are sure to blow your partner’s mind. If you want to learn more about getting better at oral sex, consider joining us for Going Down Like a Pro on December 12th in Eugene!
About the Author
Javay da BAE (aka The Millennial Sexpert) is a sex educator, content creator, pleasure professional, spicy accountant, and academic. She is currently working on her PhD in Human Sexuality and PhD in communication & media studies and has a Masters in Sex Education from Widener University. Javay began working in the pleasure industry in 2018 and instantly fell in love with all things sex, pleasure, and sex education. Her academic areas of study are sex work, kink/BDSM, and the media’s impact on sexuality.