By Javay da BAE, The Millennial Sexpert
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in a rut or stalemate in terms of your sex life. You can’t see it, but plenty of people are raising their hands because this is a common experience for most people. There are plenty of quick fixes that people use to get out of ruts temporarily, like scheduling sex or buying a new piece of lingerie, but eventually, ruts tend to return. This is not anyone’s fault–there are so many factors of life that play into our sex lives, and with “typical” sex, it can be difficult to shut out the life things so they don’t impact your sex life. That is why we think you should consider exploring kink to get out of a rut and potentially stay out of it longer. This is not us saying that we think vanilla sex is a sex rut or that kink solves all life problems (though we wish it did). Kink has many components to it and can bring conscientious, intentional, and mindful practice to your sex life. So let’s explain further.
Kink is ripe with possibilities
For so many people, sex ruts come up because there is monotony and a lack of excitement with sex. It is always the same and lackluster that you just go through the motions. With kink, you have a never-ending buffet of options with which to enhance, explore, and experiment. With so many kinks out there, you have a lot of different possibilities in terms of things that bring excitement and novelty to your sex life, be it solo or with a partner. Even just using the different kinks to get your creative juices flowing creates so much possibility for revitalizing and reigniting the spark in your sex life.
Kink is an opportunity for deeper connection and intimacy
If you are in a sex rut with your partner, there is a chance it is affecting your intimacy and how connected y’all are feeling. Kink provides an opportunity for deeper connection and intimacy with a partner. If both you and your partner are new to kink, it is a way for y’all to explore and learn new things together. Engaging in kink activities together will allow you to add some novelty to your sex life.
Kink makes space for self-exploration
There are very few spaces and areas of life where we really get to explore ourselves as sexual beings. We have to think about jobs, taking care of and managing our home, paying bills, and possibly raising children or training pets–that doesn’t leave much room for actively giving attention to your sexuality and the changes you go through over time. Kink makes space for self-exploration; from learning about kinks that might interest you to educating yourself on how to engage in the kinks safely, you are more likely to be intentional and aware of things as they relate to your sexuality. This awareness of the signs you are entering or in a rut will make it easier to change things up before the rut deepens.
Kink has so many positive benefits outside of just being sexy and fun. If you feel you are in a rut and your usual go-to solutions aren’t working, we highly recommend exploring kink. The breadth of options makes it so that you are less likely to get stuck in a routine, it allows for deeper connection and intimacy with a partner, and it is one of the best avenues for self-exploration as a sexual being. If you want to start exploring, consider joining us for any of our February workshops that all focus on kink in some way.