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Keeping Intimacy Fresh and Fun

Tips for Sprucing Up Your Sexlife

by Win, AYLI Staff Writer

If you enjoy sex (and some people don't) you’re probably at least somewhat interested in ways to enjoy it more. Even if you’re having good/great/fantastical/blow-your-socks-off-and-break-the-bedframe sex that doesn't mean it can’t get a little stale or repetitive sometimes. Or maybe you’re the proactive type and you’re looking to prevent any staleness from setting in.

Whatever the reason or situation, it’s a good idea to try new things. Our brains are hardwired to seek out new experiences, because that's how we learn and grow. In fact, new experiences cause our brains to release a burst of sweet sweet serotonin, one of the neurochemicals responsible for pleasure. So even if you’re already having great sex, having it in new and creative ways is good for both your emotional and physical self. Plus, it’s a good excuse to do fun things! 

Part One: Location Location Location! 

You’ve probably heard that location is everything, and that applies to sex too! There’s nothing wrong with having sex in your/their bed. Beds are great! They’re big and soft and safe, a familiar place where it’s easy to be vulnerable and a perfectly acceptable, neigh assumed, place to have sex. But that also means they’re probably where you’re having most of your sex, which means they don’t fulfill the requirements for that nice new experience rush. One of the simplest ways to change up your routine without changing too much is to just change where you're having sex. 

Try the bathroom (may I suggest some silicone lube for the shower?) or the kitchen (make sure there’s no chili residue anywhere first!), both classic deviations to the bedroom standard. But don't count out other rooms! Your washer and dryer, if you have them somewhere private, are nice and sturdy and often a convenient height for bending someone over. Or if that's not your jam, a desk or dining room table can suit just as well. Take your netflix and chill to the living room, a couch is basically a bed but with convenient arms for fun positions! If you're feeling frisky and have an understanding, pounce on your significant other as soon as they get in the house and go at it on the entryway mat. And those are just some of the in-home options. 

Want to get more adventurous? A fenced in or otherwise private back yard is a fun way to stretch your comfort zone close to home, though you might want to consider investing in a waterproof blanket. Plan a sweet picnic or some stargazing to get comfortable and then if the vibe is right don’t go inside! 

If you’re our neighbor, that means you live in one of the places with the best hiking and camping in the world and take it from me, there’s nothing quite like driving to the end of the BLM road and having sex by a waterfall. As long as you’re somewhere private, or inside a well covered tent or camper, intimacy in nature is a special kind of magic. Let yourselves explore different ways of being with each other. Relax and listen to the sounds of nature, then be as loud as you want! Get a little wild and lead your partner on a chase through the forest or play catch me if you can in the river. Serious, romantic sex is great! But so is fun silly sex. Though again, I cannot recommend the whole water/bug/mud proof blanket thing enough for outdoor sex. Trust me, moss is beautiful and lovely and also something that can get places you do not want moss to get. 

If nature isn't your thing, consider patronizing your local sex club. You might have to travel to the nearest city to find a nice and reputable club, but they’re out there. Clubs can be a fun way to feel daring and wild without risking any public indecency laws. Plus, kinkster clubs will often have all kinds of gear and furniture you can't fit or don't have the anchor points for and other scenes to watch for inspiration. Consensual voyeurism can be a huge turn on for some people. Even if you're not into watching/being watched, being in a place with sexy vibes can heighten experiences. Try going for the first time with no expectations and get a feel for it before you put pressure on yourselves to have an intimate experience.  

Clubs sound too overwhelming or not your scene? Still wanna get out of the house? Get a hotel room! Even if it's in the same place you live, getting a hotel room can be a fun adventure and take you out of your day-to-day routines. Plus it makes things feel a little extravagant and opens up a world of possible dynamics and scenes. By literally taking yourself out of your comfort zone you're already changing things up, so maybe now is a great time to introduce a fun new kinky scenario or fun couples toy. Or if you like a good role play or scenario, arrive at your hotel separately in a clandestine secret encounter. 

There are so many ways to bring new energy into existing relationships, and changing up your location is just one. We hope that something in this blog sparked for you and you’re planning something fun as you read this. If not, check back with us soon for more ideas. Plus you can always read through our archive of blogs, check out our social media  or come chat with us in the store!

About the Author:

Facilitator bio (short blurb): A self-described Queer Freak, Win (it/its) has never been interested in normal. An Agender/PreBinary person of mixed Lakota and Romani descent with a broad Kink background, Win brings a different perspective to AYLI. It splits its time between AYLI and its community, and can usually be found in the kitchen, the forest, or wherever there's mischief to be made!

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