No One Else Is Going To Save Us, We Have To Save Each Other; Queer Community In The Face Of Fascism

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Community is such an overused word. Tossed around by every non-profit and politician, it starts to blur into just another buzz word against the backdrop of Capitalist American life. Just another tagline, another hashtag, another empty word in an empty speech. Who cares about community when there are bills to pay? 

And yet, at its heart, in the most basic meaning, community is the most important and radical thing in the world. Community is everything and only community will save us. 

 

When we talk about community in the real sense, we’re talking about connection. About having people to be there for you and to be there for. Having connections that go so much deeper than having your back. People that have your back and your front and all the squishy bits in between, just like you’ve got theirs. People who call you in and hold you accountable, the same way you do them. But a powerful community also means that you’re able to live the way you want, anywhere you want, without being afraid of backlash. 

The first brick at Stonewall wasn’t thrown so that we could get MasterCards with rainbows on them, it was thrown because queer and trans people were tired of the violence demanded to have community without fear. Because we didn't want to be a part of the heteronormative American Dream. We have our own queer dreams and will fight for them no matter how many times they’re posed as nightmares. 

 But as queer and trans identities have begun to creep closer to acceptable and even marketable we have watched the community crack and splinter, battered from outside and within. And now that we are facing a backtracking of that advancement, those cracks are straining under the pressure. When does the desire for a safe community melt into the desire for assimilation? How do we build a community rooted deeper than just specific shared identity? Who benefits when we turn against each other, and where do we draw the line on who gets to be on “our side”? All of these are questions that have been asked before and will be again, but increasingly they are being asked under the pressure of violence.

This year, just like last year and the year before that, was the most deadly on record for trans people, especially transfemmes and transwomen and especially especially for transfemmes and transwomen of colour. More anti-trans legislation has been passed in the last two years than ever before. And unfortunately, it looks like coming years will be worse. As economic and political stress has intensified, so has the pressure put on people to view the world through an us vs them mentality. Each step away from this country's original incarnation as a White puritan christian ethnostate heightens the danger to those who are not a part of that category. As these forces collide, the result can be deadly. 

 From systemic to street violence, we are seeing a trend in America towards a fascist and hyper-conservative mindset. While most people do not feel this way, and many are repulsed by it, the fact remains that it is advantageous to those with privilege and power to encourage this division. When we focus on fighting with other oppressed groups of people, we have less energy to fight against our oppressors. 

So what do we do? We come together. We support each other and hold fast. And we create community. To quote Kelly Hayes co-author of Let This Radicalize You “Remember who you want to be, come what may, and move in the direction of your values…Together we will foster courage and solidarity, and we will fight for eachother.”

Human 101: Social Creatures To The Core

It is often lauded that the first sign of human civilization was not a great temple or work of art, but a healed femur. Margaret Mead, a famed anthropologist, is the origin of this quote. She remarked that in non-communal species, a broken leg is a death sentence. But not to humans, who take care of each other to the point of bringing disaster unto ourselves. 

“Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts,” Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; For, indeed, that's all who ever have.”  

While our social nature is a beautiful thing, it also comes with needs that must be met. Like clean air and a balanced diet, we need support from others to be healthy. Humans are a social species and while our need for interaction varies, on a biological level we need to be around people we like and trust. 

“Humans need others to survive,” says Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology at Brigham Young University. “Regardless of one’s sex, country or culture of origin, or age or economic background, social connection is crucial to human development, health, and survival.” In 2010, Holt-Lunstad published a body of research showing that people who had weaker social ties had a 50% increased likelihood of dying early than those with strong stable ones. Being disconnected posed danger comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and was more predictive of early death than the effects of air pollution or physical inactivity. For people with marginalised identities that are already pushed to isolation this danger is even more present.  

When we talk about communities as survival it’s a literal interpretation. We need each other on a mental, physical, and material level. It can seem daunting in the current times to imagine empathy or connection with a world that seems so overwhelmingly malicious but there are good people everywhere, and we need to find each other before it's too late. 

Wires and the Concept of Connection

It can be so easy in the time of social media to feel like we are connected to so many people but when those ties are gossamer and heart reacts it doesn't really add up. In so many ways, social media makes us into Tantalus, the Sipylus King who was cursed to stand in a lake of water under bows heavy with fruit but be unable to drink or eat. We are bombarded by snips of people's lives, but we lack the deeper contact that builds community.  

It may feel as if we know what's going on with our friends, but we see a curated version and it can be so easy to miss the places where people need help. We also rely on third parties for these connections, making our online communities at constant risk for censure and erasure.

Between the constant onslaught of false information and ad placement it can feel impossible to curate an online experience that is genuine and fulfilling. While there are many great things from social media, especially in the time of pandemics, we also need to be making connections with our neighbours and strangers on the streets. 

We must not be lost in the doomscroll or group chat, in the endless theory discussions and petty squabbles. To truly organise and make a community that is strong enough to withstand the coming storm of fascism and climate collapse we must meet each other in person and with compassion. 

 

Room For Everyone On The Train

While it’s wonderful that the internet allows us to find people who share our specific identities and beliefs, it can also create crippling expectations when it comes to making a real life community. Not everyone who is or needs to be a part of your community might have exactly the same views and opinions as you, and that's okay. It can be tricky to find where to draw a line, and often the answer isn't clear cut. 

Especially in the queer community where so often as each identity fluctuates in acceptability to dominant culture, so does its demonization within the community. The rise of TERF (Trans Exclusive Radical Feminist) and other equally nasty ideologies and a creeping puritanical tinge have taken their toll on our connection to each other. 

 More and more we see the splintering into very small communities with high entry thresholds, ready to throw anyone who doesn't fit a specific criteria under the bus. But as tensions and the threat of violent extremists rise we have to find ways to come together and support one another, even if we don’t agree about everything.

Focus on work that needs to be done and support that can be shared around rather than social capital. Until we can divest our community organising from clout chasing and virtue signalling, we will always be exploitable. Build community on shared ideals and values, not just shared identities and understand that the best allies are not always the people you would invite for dinner. 

Small Steps for Big Change 

Now that we’ve said the word community 15 times, what do we actually do to make it? The first and most core element to making a community is communicating. Talking to people you know and people you don't and finding shared ground, finding the places where people are falling through the cracks.  

Find ways to connect with people outside of your immediate circles; talk to your neighbours, join clubs, join a community garden, go to demonstrations and community meetings. Look for safe community spaces, like your local pleasure shop! Maybe those places host fun classes or groups.  

Beyond meeting folks, form real bonds and take the time to learn what people need and what they have to offer. So often in capitalism we’re kept so tired and isolated that it feels impossible to have time to take care of yourself, much less other people. However, once you start building a supportive community that imbalance can begin to right itself. Take turns cooking and hosting, help each other shop and make dinner together. Do a friend's dishes. Watch eachothers pets and kids, water each other's gardens. Send each other photos of funny or beautiful things. Keep an eye out for each other, and be there when things go down. Hold each other accountable and call each other in when mistakes are made. Mistakes will be made. Practice reconciliation and help each other grow rather than breaking into shards and tearing each other apart. 

This world makes survivors of us and every time we survive we learn. Take everything that would make you brittle and become kind instead. Things are hard, they may get harder, and we’re only going to make it together. Over and over again we get asked the question ‘what are we fighting for?’ and the answer is infinitely complicated and so simple at the same time. 

We fight for joy; for ourselves and everyone we love to be safe and happy and together.

 We fight to be able to be ourselves, authentic and strange.

 We fight because we are sick and tired of being afraid and alone. 

We fight because we have to, because no one else is going to save us until we save each other. 

We fight because what the hell else is there to do? Give up? Not an option. And in the end what we’re really fighting for is to have community. To live, laugh, love in our own weird ways, safe and together.​​