Oral for Every Body

Oral for Every Body

by Javay da BAE aka The Millennial Sexpert

The mouth is such an amazing part of the human body. It can be used to have tantalizing conversations, sing beautiful melodies, and of course, provide pleasure in a multitude of ways. If you want to use your mouth for pleasure but feel a little apprehensive or nervous, that’s okay and actually quite normal. Many people stress about how to be good at oral sex, and that’s what we're here to help with. Here is a quick breakdown of ways to use your mouth for pleasure on all different bodies.

Safety First

Before we get into the How-to of oral pleasure, we should talk about safer sex practices. The belief that oral sex doesn’t carry the potential for STI/STD transmission is a popular but incorrect one. Oral sex has risks, just like any other sexual activity with another person, but there are options in terms of safer sex practices. Barrier methods are available for all forms of oral sex–with a penis, a vulva, or an anus. External condoms, like Skyns or Glyde, are great options for oral on a penis. You can even use flavored ones for a little more fun. For oral sex of the vulva or anus, there are two different options available, Lorals or Dental Dams. Lorals are FDA-cleared latex undies that can be worn during oral stimulation and provide full coverage of the parts you are stimulating. Dental Dams are rectangular barriers that are held in place over the vulva or anus for oral stimulation. Any of those three options can be used for safer oral sex, but now it’s time for the good stuff!

Pleasing the Back Door

Oral anal play, or anilingus, is probably the form of oral sex that most people have questions about, and for a few different reasons. A big concern about oral anal play is the mess factor, which is fair. Hygiene is important for oral stimulation, but most definitely for anal play. There are different levels of prep for anal play that you can learn about here. Another way to play with peace of mind is by using Lorals. Once the hygiene piece is handled, you can get into the fun with your mouth.

For pleasurable oral anal play, you don’t have to try to do too much. Focusing on the rim of the anus allows for a great experience–and it’s where the phrase rimming comes from. It is where you use your tongue to stimulate the rim of the anus. You can do this by dragging your tongue around in little circles, going up and down, or even just kissing the rim of the anus. You should start with lighter pressure and communicate with your partner to see if they want more pressure or speed regarding tongue movements. As you and your partner(s) get more comfortable, you can venture into using your tongue to penetrate the anus. You can even heighten oral anal play, but giving attention to the butt cheeks, just as much as the anus itself.

Eating the Cat

You have probably heard the tip about spelling the alphabet with your tongue when you are doing oral sex on the vulva…delete it from your brain, or at least table it and try something new. This technique worked in our early years of having sex, but we know better now, and we know that sex isn’t one size fits all, so why would an oral sex technique be? With that, I’m not going to give you a single technique to try, but lots of different things you can do during cunnilingus. 

Use your tongue all over, not just on the clitoris. The vulva includes the labia, the clitoris, the urethral opening, and the vaginal opening, which are all parts that you can stimulate with your tongue. Licking isn’t the only thing you can do for cunnilingus, though. Sucking also provides stimulation that will have your partner(s) on the edge of their seat. You can suck on all the parts of the vulva just as you would lick them. When it comes to how you move your tongue, don’t be afraid to try different things. You can do circles of different sizes, figure eights, up and down, zig zag, side to side, in a wave, and so many other ways. Variety in how you use your tongue and where is how you can make cunnilingus the most pleasurable experience for your partner(s).

Being a Throat Goat

When it comes to oral sex on the penis, less can be so much more. It is popular in so much media to talk about deep-throating, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to pleasure. The penis is super sensitive in the head, at the frenulum, and along the deep dorsal vein, the vein you can see on the back of the shaft of the penis. This means that you don’t have to take the entirety of the penis down your throat for it to be a good blowjob. You can use your tongue and drag it up and down the dorsal vein, flick the frenulum ever so gently, and lick the head like a lollipop to make their toes curl.

If you want to be a true throat goat and take things deeper but struggle with your gag reflex, there are a couple of different things you can try. The first and easiest is tucking your thumbs. If you fold your thumbs in and then make a fist, this can help to minimize your gag reflex. You can also brush your tongue before oral sex using a toothbrush or tongue scraper to help you prep your body and minimize your gag reflex.

The Razzle Dazzle

Regardless of what part of the body you are performing oral on, there are some extra touches you can use to add to the pleasure. Flavored lube allows you to add a more desired taste to oral play. Since most flavored lubes are water-based, you can also use them if you plan on using toys. One of our favorite flavored lube options is Aloe Cadabra. You can also add some vibration to the experience. Adding a vibe to the same or even different parts of the body during oral play is a great way to enhance pleasure. You can use a toy like the Je Joue Amour to apply pressure to your throat so that your partner(s) can feel the vibration through your mouth or use a bullet like the We-Vibe Tango X to pinpoint stimulation on other parts of the body while you use your mouth on the genitals. You can add sensations to oral sex by humming or moaning while you are going down on someone as well. This could be a fun way to see if there is a particular song or phrase that is pleasurable for your partner(s). Try phrases like “I love you,” “You taste so good,” or even just their nickname. 

Regardless of the body part that you are stimulating orally, the key to a truly pleasurable experience is communication. Talking with your partner ahead of time to learn what they know they like and enjoy can give you a great starting point, and communicating throughout will make it so that you can try new things.

About the Author:

Javay da BAE aka @TheMillenialSexpert

Javay da BAE (aka The Millennial Sexpert) is a sex educator, content creator, pleasure professional, spicy accountant, and academic. She is currently working on her PhD in Human Sexuality and PhD in communication & media studies and has a Masters in Sex Education from Widener University. Javay began working in the pleasure industry in 2018 and instantly fell in love with all things sex, pleasure, and sex education. Her academic areas of study are sex work, kink/BDSM, and the media’s impact on sexuality.

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