Self-Care in These Trying Times: Finding Pleasure and Comfort Where and When You Can in A Burning World
In times like these, it’s easy to forget that caring for ourselves isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. The world can feel heavy, and our bodies often hold on to that stress. Self-care is about creating moments that remind us we are worthy of rest, of touch, of joy in whatever forms feel good to us. We need joy so we can do what we want to do in this world. Whether that is coordinating care for others, creating change, or just surviving the day, it can't be done effectively while we're burnt out and sad.
Soak In It… ( I love a good bath)
There’s something deeply healing about water. A warm bath can soften the edges of a hard day, ease sore muscles, and quiet the mind. And remind us about what we love. Add a bath bomb, some Epsom salts, or a bit of your favorite oil. If you are a candle person don’t forget those. I recommend these massage candles, so I can have a lovely after bath moisturizing skin care session. I love taking the time to light some candles and bring a good book into the tub with me. If I have the opportunity and desire for some pleasure with my bathtime relaxation I might bring a waterproof toy with me, like the Nova or the Womanizer Next.
Touch is Everything
A perfect follow up to a bath, massages are one of our favorite ways to turn an everyday evening into a sensual ritual. Let yourself melt into warm, body-safe oils that nourish the skin and invite touch — whether you’re giving yourself a slow, mindful massage or sharing that warmth with someone you care about. Reconnect with your body and let tension and hyper-vigilance drain away while focusing on the soothing sensations. Both giving and receiving massages can be relaxing, and it's a wonderful way to indulge in vulnerability in an increasingly hostile world. Plus there’s no inherent expectation of escalation, massage is a wonderful, intimate way of being together all on it's own.
(You’ll find our collection of body-safe massage candles and oils here.)
The Cuddle Connection
Sometimes, the best self-care is the most simple: a soft blanket, your favorite entertainment, and someone (or someones) who make you feel safe and seen. Whether that’s a lover, a friend, a pet, or just your own beautiful self — connection is healing. Physical closeness, laughter, shared comfort or a call with a friend can do wonders for our nervous systems.
Humans are deeply social, so even if you’re someone who doesn't want or need a huge amount of contact, it is good for your brain and body to make connections when you feel drawn to. Isolation is one of the most powerful tools of oppression and finding ways to circumvent it is crucial to keeping yourself and your community happy. I recently splurged on an Arie Cuddle Pillow and it has revolutionized my snuggle game, but just indulging in the simple joys of closeness and comradery can be more healing than you can imagine.
Time with Nature
I love a good hike in the woods, spending time leaning up against a tree and talking in the smells and energy of nature around you. There is so much peace to be found by just tossing down a Liberator Throw and looking intently at a small slice of forest ecosystem. Taking the time to observe a microuniverse and taking a break from your world by getting lost in theirs.
When people ask me where my favorite places are, I list As You Like It, the redwoods, and most of all, the ocean. Nothing calms my mind like watching the ocean waves crashing to shore. On our most base levels we all came from the ocean, and being back there is deeply grounding for me. Like coming home, with none of the baggage or responsibilities. My problems and stress feel small in the best way when I’m knee deep in the unfathomable vastness of the Pacific. It’s also a place where I can find the meditative space to think through deep issues or problems without feeling overwhelmed, which allows me to work through stuff that's weighing me down in my day to day life.
I encourage you to find what works for you when it comes to making time for nature. Be it the ocean, the forest, your yard or garden, or just a local park, give yourself the gift of greenery and fresh air.
Pleasure Is Care, and Caring Is Our Pleasure.
At As You Like It, we believe that pleasure is a form of wellness. Exploring your desires, listening to your body, and embracing what feels good unapologetically; these are powerful acts of self-love. You can’t be doing the self care tips in this blog all the time, but you can always focus on centering your pleasure and joy. If you ever need help finding a little extra joy, our shop and staff are here to help you discover tools and toys that celebrate your body and support your joy, all in a body-safe, shame-free space.
So please, take time to do something just for you.
With care and appreciation always, Kim Marks.