Don't Let The Pressure Of The World Stop You from Prioritizing Your Pleasure.
As summer nears its end, life is returning to its usual pace of go, go, go, and never-ending to-dos. The usual hustle and bustle of fall tends to push us to prioritize the less enjoyable aspects of adulthood over pleasure. It is very easy to let your sexual wellness and pleasure fall to the wayside as things of life ramp back up. If you want to slow things down and be more intentional with your pleasure, here are some practices you can integrate into your routine.
Deep Breaths
Pleasure is not as amazing as it can be when you aren’t relaxed. Trust us, we know how difficult it can be to fully relax with the current state of things, but attempting is what matters. Some deep breaths ahead of sexual activity or even just when it feels like your day is moving too quickly can be a great idea. Breathe in through your nose for 5 seconds and breathe out through your mouth for 5 seconds. Discover how deep breaths can help you be more present in the moment.
Foreplay Yourself
When was the last time you intentionally romanced YOURSELF? When did you spoil yourself like you deserve and desire? If the answer isn’t just last night, then consider taking some time tonight. Now this doesn’t have to be what is typically thought of as foreplay—kissing, dry humping, etc. —but rather the foreplay that drops you into your body. The caressing of your body with a smell-good lotion or body oil after a long, hot shower with smooth jazz playing. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself affirmations of self-love, hype yourself up like the best wingperson ever. Do the activities that get you in the mood, and not necessarily to have sex or masturbate, but to excite yourself, delight yourself in your own pleasure, and to remind yourself how absolutely delectable you are.
Learn from Professionals
When it comes to developing pleasure practices and truly being present in your pleasure, it can feel like you are wandering aimlessly in the wild. That’s common for many people, and that’s when we turn to folks who know a little more than we do. If you would like more structured guidance in being intentional and present in terms of your pleasure, we highly recommend Lori A. Brotto’s Better Sex Through Mindfulness and the companion workbook. This book has instructions and inquiries for developing a mindfulness practice with or without a sexual partner.
Schedule Pleasure
Another way to slow down and really savor pleasure is to take the time to schedule it. At first glance, that might sound unsexy, but hear us out. When you take the time to schedule pleasure, be it with a partner or by yourself, you are prioritizing it even when your schedule might be trying to pull your attention and time in other ways. Scheduling pleasure also lets you curate your pleasure to match your mood and desires. Rather than just trying to hurry and masturbate or get a quickie in, by scheduling, you are giving yourself time to fully enjoy the experience—whatever that experience may be.
Don’t let the fleeting time of summer rush you into ignoring your pleasure and taking time to savor the moment. Just because summer is when the messaging of enjoying yourself is pushed the hardest doesn’t mean that it is only meant to happen then. Savor the moment and prioritize your pleasure every day!